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HERE AT MELZMAR'S REVIEWS WE HAVE A VARIETY OF REVIEWERS, AND REMEMBER THAT WHAT OUR REVIEWERS SAY YOU MAY NOT THINK
TOO SO FEEL FREE TO SEND US A COMMENT, IF YOU DID NOT AGREE WITH OUR REVIEWER. TO WRITE A COMMENT GO TO THE HOME PAGE,
AND WRITE IT IN THE COMMENT BOX, AND WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU. PLEASE ENJOY OUR REVIEWS, AND LET THEM GUIDE YOU TO THE
AMAZING WORLD WE LIVE IN TODAY.
Epic Movie (2007) PG-13 
I'm gonna make this review short and sweet: Do not see Epic Movie! I am not
one to exaggerate, but this is the worst movie I have ever seen in my twenty-two years of living, and I've seen literally
about a thousand movies! If you enjoy this poor excuse for a "film," you may qualify for mental retardation. This flick (which barely clocks in an hour and 25 minutes INCLUDING
credits)'s godawful-ness is comparable to the NYC World Trade Center disasters (both of them - 1993 and 2001, but specifically,
the latter). You will be dumber for having watched it. Even if you watch it for free, you will want a refund. Do not
see Epic Movie!
I feel sad for every living being involved in the making of this motion picture except for the writers
and directors. I especially feel bad for this piece of crap to wind up on the incomparable Kal Penn's resumé, after the most
recent Superman film and The Namesake. And the usually-hilarious Jennifer Coolidge and Fred Willard now have tarnished
reputations for doing Date Movie and this.
A.J. F 0/10
2006 Best and Worst (respectively) By: A.J.
1. Borat
2. Little Miss Sunshine
3. Thank You for Smoking
4. Clerks II
5. World Trade Center
6. Beerfest
7. The Last Kiss
8. The Departed
9. Jackass Number Two
10. Art School Confidential
11. Rocky Balboa
12. Stranger Than Fiction
14. Idiocracy
15. Tenacious D in "The Pick of Destiny"
(worst)
1. Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction
2. Scary Movie 4
3. Big Momma's House 2
4. Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties
5. Snakes on a Train
[independent]
6. Little Man
7. Pink Panther
8. My Super Ex-Girlfriend
9. American Pie presents: The Naked Mile (V)
10. Van Wilder 2
11. RV
12. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
13. Miami Vice
14. Bottoms Up (V)
15. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
2006 Guilty pleasures of the year
2. X-Men: The Last Stand
3. Running Scared
5. Hard Candy
6. Stay Alive (director's cut only)
7. Accepted
8. Employee of the Month
9. Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
10. Black Christmas
Stay Alive (2006) PG-13 
Stay Alive is the name of this movie, but also the name of the game within the movie, in which people who play
said game are killed in the same way that they die. Confused? I was too, kind of. Allow me to clear things up:
In movie world, "Stay Alive" is a video game, currently in beta-testing phase, that's just taken its first victim - a
young guy named Loomis (and his friends right before who were fucking in his parents' bed). After their
deaths, one of Loomis's best friends, Hutch, receives the game from L's sister at his funeral.
The night of his funeral, Hutch brings over a bunch of his buddies to his joint (which, may I say, kicks ass for a 20-something-year-old
kid with no parents, most likely fresh out of college) to check out this new "barely legal" still-in-development game:
October, who seems to be Hutch's fuckbuddy; Phineus, who is October's witty brother; Abigail,
who Hutch (from here on in referred to as "H-Dog") just met this morning at the graveyard as she was taking pictures (weirdo,
but hottie); and Swink a.k.a. Malcolm in the Middle.
I know what you're thinking - "what the fuck?" right? "I can picture these names being the middle or last names
of a person, but not first. I mean, Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple and - even worse - Jason Lee's kid is named Pilot
Inspektor, but Christ. I know these kids live in LA, but it's New Orleans; not Retardland." Anyway, these kids play this
stupid horror-survival game called "Stay Alive" online with H-Dog's boss (from his office) and suddenly, people start dying.
After four deaths, everyone's like "what the hell?" and they look up a character from the game: Elizabeth Bathory.
In the real world, Elizabeth Bathory was a Hungarian countess (here, born in New Orleans) who, in the 1600s, killed
young girls and hung them up on hooks over bathtubs, then bathed in their blood, hoping to stay young forever (*cough*psycho
bitch*cough*). Some kind of "fountain of youth" bull. Now she's come back to murder kids who own Playstations? My
question is: why curse a video game? You're only gonna kill a few hundred stoners and caffeine addicts. Curse a Justin Timberlake
album. The teenage broads that listen to his albums are the real kids who need to die. Come to think of it, that's what Timberlake
sounds like: a teenage broad. But back to the movie itself:
So H-Dog investigates this whole Bathory thing as people die and die and die and that's basically it.
It's in no way scary and there's some shoddy acting (namely from Sophia Bush [her bad acting is forgivable because she's pretty
fine] and Frankie Muniz [who plays a neurotic nerd yet again]), but it's too entertaining to turn off. Compared to the heavily
censored 85-minute PG-13 cut for kiddies, this 100-minute unrated director's cut is a real treat for people who liked the
movie when they saw it in theaters and wanted more character development and more depth and what-have-you (there's also a
fair amount of more gore & swearing and a mild amount of nudity and pot added).
There's two new characters and about twenty new additions (most of which, though, look like crap aesthetically).
It's almost like a new movie. Phineus (Jimmi Simpson) is pretty funny in it and he gets some more lines that had to be
cut out because they either made the movie too long or were suitable for young audiences. But Malcolm in the Middle
is in the movie, and that temporarily turned me off from watching this. Thankfully, this is his last role in a movie for a
while because he's gotten into racecar driving or some shit.
Reviewer: A.J.
Director's Cut: A for effort alone
Theatrical: D
The Departed (2006) R 
Overall The Departed was pretty good. Interesting story, great acting, etc. It has some of the most realistic
and violent killing scenes I've ever seen. It was a bit confusing at the beginning but not as confusing as I thought
it would be. This is not a typical gangster movie, but it is will still appeal to you if you like gangster movies.
I reccomend you go see this.
Reviewer: Sally Rullman
Grade: A-
The Number 23 (2007) R 
Walter Paul Sparrow (his full name starts and ends with "W" and "W" is the 23rd letter in the
alphabet) makes an honest living working for animal control (Jim Carrey, reprising his Ace Ventura days?)
when he comes upon what seems to be a stray dog, causing trouble behind a restaurant. When he is bitten by said canine, he has
a slight feeling that he has contracted something from this animal and is now paranoid. He's discovering these
coincidences and parallels between a book his wife (Virginia Madsen) has found The Number 23 (written by Topsy
Kretz; the bookstore in which this novel is found has the address 599 [5+9+9=23]) and his own life.
He can take his social security number, pin numbers, address, birthdates, when he met his wife - it all somehow
adds up to the number twenty-three. This only encourages his impressionable son (Logan Lerman, who did a better job at
acting troubled as a young Ashton Kutcher than Kutcher himself in The Butterfly Effect) to look for "signs."
Soon, Walter's wife Agatha unabashedly expresses disdain towards her husband and son for looking too much into these
two digits. Why is this? Is there something she's hiding? Did she write the book? Is she "Topsy Kretz"? Is Walter going
to kill himself, or kill someone else? Is Jim Carrey naked in this movie? Sorry, teenaged girls. The answer to the last one
is "no." Not at all. But watch the movie and find out the other questions. It's a very absorbing picture.
This is a flick people either love or hate. I can't find a single person who has an impartial opinion on this film.
I, myself, found it so intriguing that I saw it twice. I don't think they could have made it any better. It's an ending that
slowly comes to the surface. When you think the movie's gonna end soon and you assume end credits will pop up in 10
seconds, "23, you got some 'splaining to do-oooo!" Something new is revealed and you feel dumb for not knowing it before.
Don't stop and think about what's unexplained until you see "directed by Joel Schumacher" (this motion picture is
the 23rd non-TV-movie Schumacher has directed) or "a New Line Cinema presentation." Whichever comes first.
Speaking of, props to Joel S. (the 14 letters in his name plus the 9 letters in Carrey's name make 23; so does
the 14 letters in Madsen's name plus Carrey's) and New Line Cinema for not toning this movie down and making
it PG-13. This is the best Jim Carrey movie in a while. It's a real departure for him as a comedic actor but his true fans
(not just horny 20-year-old chicks) will still love to see him in this. Just to make it clear, this isn't what I'd call an
"excellent" film, but I wouldn't change anything about it to make it perfect. It's far above satisfactory.
Not to mention the terrific soundtrack including She Wants Revenge and Nine Horses.
I did kind of have a tiff with one math problem in the movie, though. 2 divided by 3 is supposedly .666, the number
of the Devil (which isn't true anyway), but the real answer is .666666 ... 7 (round to .667).
Reviewer: A.J.
A / 10 out of 10
Farce of the Penguins (2007) R 
Farce of the Peguins is a parody of March of the Penguins. In March of the Penguins, filmakers spent months in
Antarctica filming the lives penguins and explaining how they react with their habitat. Farce of the Penguins uses penguin
stock footage and a large cast of actors and comedians to tell basically the same story as March of the Penguins. The
main difference here is that the penguins have voices. I applaud Bob Saget on being able to make 80 minutes of nothing
but penguins standing and walking somewhat entertaining. There are problems with this movie though.
The stock footage is mostly grainy and bad quality. The story is not that interesting. And the characters sometimes
randomly break out into annoying songs. The movie is mainly farting humor. Despite these downsides, the
movie is actually wathable and who knows, you might even laugh a few times.
Reviewer: Rex Sellers
Grade: 5/10
Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle (2004) R 
This is most definitely the best low budget stoner comedy I've ever seen. Despite a few corny scenes, (Harold and
Kumar ride an escaped cheetah from the zoo) this movie is filled with 100% complete hilarity, but don't let these corny scense
throw you off from watching this movie. I don't think I really have to explain the plot since it is all ready summed
up in the title. Basically, two stoners get a craving for White Castle hamburgers and go on an adventure to get
to the hamburger joint. If you get a chance, definitely rent or buy this movie. I'm generally not a big fan of
stoner comedies, but there was something about this film that made me like it. Be reminded though, this film is meant
for R audiences. You may be asking yourself, what should I do now that I'm finished reading this review? Should
I go to another review website? Should I look at porn? No! All you need to do is go out and see Harold and
Kumar Go To White Castle. GO NOW! What are you still doing reading this?
P.S. I hate it when I read a review that says a movie is amazing and I should go see it because when I do go see
it, my expectations are way to high, and I'm usually dissapointed. So don't think this movie is as good as I said, but
still go out and see it.
Reviewer: Rex Sellers
Grade: 9/10
 The Guardian (2006) PG-13
The Guardian stars Kevin Costner, Ben and Ashton Kutcher, Jake. The whole story shows the relationship between
Ben and Jake, oldcomer to newcomer. The action sequences are amazing in this film. I was on the edge of my seat.
But the problem with the movie is it can't be all action sequences, and there needs to be a boring story about Ben's divorce
and Jakes new love interest. Also to fill time in between the action, the new cost guards go through rigourous training
that is impresssive to watch at first, but then kind of gets old after you see them training for the millionth time.
I have to say, this is the best movie I have seen about cost guards. But it is also the worst since it is the only movie
I have ever seen about cost guards. Before this film, I always thought the army, navy, and marines were the real
troopers. I never really knew much about the cost guard. But after seeing this film, I know think of cost guards
as a lot more than people who just guard our coasts. This movie doesn't really have the best or most original story
in the world, but it will give you a better appreciation for the brave men and women in the cost guard. I hope you see
this movie for that reason and not for the stupid romance between Ashton Kutcher and Melissa Sagemiller.
Grade: C+
Reviewer: Rex Sellers
 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) PG-13
Going into this movie, I expected a lot, since the first one was so spectacular. The story was good, special effects
were amazing, and they got all the same actors. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is just as funny and witty as he was in the
first one. But the movie still seemed to be lacking something. It seemed to be a lot cornier and cheesier than
the first one, but it still didn't stop if from being a great movie. I definitely reccomend you go see it.
Grade: 7.5/10
Reviewer: Rex Sellers
 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) PG-13
When I first went in to see this movie in theaters, I had not heard much about it, and thought it would just be another
boring old pirate movie. I mean come on, a movie made about a Disneyland ride? Coming out of the theater, I was
amazed. Everything in the movie was great. Great story, great actors, great direction, great effects, EVERYTHING!
I admit this movie definitely would not be as good, without the way Johnny Depp portrayed Captain Jack Sparrow. Since
this movie's premier, it has gone down as a classic, and if you have not seen it, go out and rent it right this second.
You won't be dissapointed.
Grade: 9.9/10
Reviewer: Rex Sellers
Idiocracy (2006) R 
Idiocracy centers around Joe Bauers (Luke Wilson), the average American. He gets frozen as part of an army experiment,
and accidently ends up in the year 2505, where the world is a bunch of idiots, and he is the smartest man.
First of all, this wasn't the best movie ever, but it actually was pretty good. If the movie had been marketed
better, i'm sure it would have been at least somewhat of a hit. It is very funny, and creative. This movie is
definitely worth seeing. There were some problems with the movie due to some issues with Fox, so the creators were not
able to fine tune the movie to perfection. The main problems I saw were a few things in the writing needed to be changed
and the special effects were kind of cheesy. Otherwise, Idiocracy is a great movie. So go out to the video store
and rent it now. And come on, if you don't like, it's only an hour and twenty minutes out of your day.
Grade:7/10
Reviewer: Rex Sellers
Jackass Number Two (2006) R 
What can I say about Jackass Number Two? If you no nothing about Jackass, the next few sentences would be a good
thing to read. Jackass started off as a show on Mtv where a bunch of guys would get together and do weird things such
as dangerous, ridculous stunts and pranks. Although it has many cast members, the most recognizable ones
include Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, and Steve-O. In 2002, Jackass went to the big screen, and became a big hit.
They movie involved many outrageous things, such as: walking a tight rope over a pit of alligators; dressing up with extensive
makeup like old people and going around town hitting each other in electric scooters; trying out real working rocket skates;
etc. But the second Jackass goes where the first didn't. If you liked the first movie or the TV show, definitely
go see this, but be reminded Jackass is not for the faint of heart. I found myself yelling "WHAT THE HELL?" so
many times. I couldn't even imagine how the stood to do some of the stuff. Whether you like it
or not, you will get your money's worth when you see Jackass Number Two.
Reviewer: Rex Sellers
Grade: 9/10
 Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006) R Borat - the "documentary" covering Kazakh reporter Borat Sagdiyev's trip to the U.S. for the purpose of attracting
American tourists to Kazakhstan - is just as funny as I imagined it would be before I saw the film in theaters. Sagdiyev's
(Sacha Baron Cohen - Ali G and Jean Girard in Talladega Nights) just as funny as he's ever been, with Azamat
(Ken Davitian - A Man Apart, SWAT) in a co-starring role. Borat is hilarious on his own, but there
is a certain scene with Borat and Azamat that's so hysterically funny it brings the god damn house down. Let me just
say Azamat does NOT have the quote-unquote "asshole of a seven-year-old" and that's all I will tell you about this
scene.
You would imagine that a film so hyped up to be "a fall-on-your-face, [piss]-in-your-pants, screaming riot" (Philadelphia
Weekly) and it wins awards (Golden Globes - best actor in musical or comedy, American Film Institute - ten top films
of the year, etc.), that it wouldn't live up to expectations, but it far exceded my expectations. In fact, I will say, this
movie kicked my expectations in the testicles and it laughed in the face at my expectations. "Take that!"
Overall, I'd say this movie scores a 9 out of ten, compared to other 2006 comedies like Tenacious D in the Pick of
Destiny (7 out of ten sober, 10 out of ten smashed), Broken Lizard's Beerfest (8 out of ten), and the
sequels to Jackass and Clerks (both nine-out-of-tens).
WARNING(s): There is an upcoming three-disc special edition (minimum
of two discs) I hear is coming from FOX (the king of DVD double-dips [see: Dodgeball, I Robot,
Broken Lizard's Club Dread, The Day After Tomorrow, etc.]) On the current non-special-edition, the
disc is supposed to look like a bootleg copy. Also: before you "commence movie film," go to "languages" ("make
languages select") on the "special features" ("surplus material") menu, and select the language "Hebrew." 
Reviewer: chocolateface A.J.
Grade: 9/10
Employee of the Month (2006) PG-13 
Employee of the Month is a movie about a slacker, Zack (Dane Cook) who works at Costco, Sam's Club style store as
a box boy. When a new beautiful cashier, Amy (Jessica Simpson) comes to work at the store, the rumor is spread that
she will sleep with the employee of the month. Vince (Dax Shepard) has been the employee of the month for almost the
past two years straight, and does not want to lose his title to the lazy box boy. The movie plays out the whole month
of them fighting for the golden dream of being employee of the month and winning Amy.
This movie had so much potential to be great, but they completely blew it. Dane Cook is a hilarious
comedian who, I think, needs a little more practice before he can handle a leading role on his own again. There were
a few funny scenes in this movie, but not enough to make it great. There was no character development of Amy (Simpson).
Throughout the whole movie she remained no more than a pair of boobs. No funny or interesting lines.
Nothing! The movie is about Vince and Zack trying to win over Amy, but besides being beautiful the audience is not able
to relate to or understand an actual personality of Amy. The main purpose of this movie, the girl, should be 3
dimensional. Better luck next time, Dane Cook.
Grade: D+
Reviewer: Harold Ziltman
Lady in the Water (2006) PG-13 
I do not know why critics are always bashing M. Night Shyamalan's films. He actually does know how to make a good
movie. Although his characters are usually somewhat stereotypical and his themes are somewhat obvious, he still knows
how to make an enjoyable film. Lady In The Water is a story about a man named Cleveland(Paul Giamatti) who runs
an apartment building in Philidelphia, and finds a lady in his pool, who turns out to be from a magical world. Throughout
the story, Cleveland and other people living in the apartment try to get the girl back home. This movie kept me entertained
with its amusing plot and amazingly designed creatures. It is not really a horror film, but more of a children's story
told for adults. The end gets a little weird and mythical, but otherwise it is a good movie.
Grade: B+
Reviewer: Tim Rightman
Grandma's Boy (2006) R 
The tagline is "Sex. Drugs. Nakedness. Rude Language... And proud of it!" and, well, it delivers what it promises: a
raunchy stoner flick.
For every shitty review written by some 50-year-old tightass are about twice as many young gamers and stoners - the intended
audience - who laughed their asses off. Don't let the box office gross or trailers fool you (Fox didn't market the movie correctly...
or enough); go see this movie! A lot of people spent their 8 bucks+ on Hostel instead when this was in theatrical
release, but I'm guessing people would rather pay 3 bucks to see this on DVD (I've heard the DVD rentals/sales on the
movie were pretty good), which is why it's now becoming a cult classic.
Allen Covert (a co-star in almost every film Adam Sandler's ever done) plays a 35-year-old video game
tester, Alex. Covert tries to be the leading man for once and I can't say that it works. I don't exactly
know what to make of his performance. It's not bad, but he's outshined by less important actors; i.e. Peter
Dante (another Happy Madison regular) and comedian Nick Swardson (who plays a fellow game tester,
and in real life, he's also the screenwriter for Malibu's Most Wanted and The Benchwarmers - but again,
don't let that turn you off from this movie) who have a lot of great "oneliners" and have funnier parts than more
major stars in the film (did I mention Raymond's mom is in the movie: Doris Roberts?). Swardson
and Joel Moore (Dodgeball) - who plays a Neo [from the Matrix] wannabe competing against
Alex for the affection of the new company supervisor (Samantha played by Linda Cardellini) - are the definite
scenestealers.
Anyway, just go rent this movie ASAP. If you expect it to be a crude farce and enjoy that kind of humor, you won't be
disappointed. Also worthy of mention is the killer soundtrack, with songs by Ima Robot, Paul Wall, Aphex Twin, Bloc Party,
the Mooney Suzuki and Cdoass.
- A.J.
A / 8.8 out of 10
New Wedding Crashers
Review (2005) R 
We were criticized by the
good people at http://www.the-frat-pack.com/ for giving a mediocre review to Wedding Crashers. The particular review did not like the movie much, but my co-creators
and I loved the movie, so we got together and wrote a new review of Wedding Crashers.
Wedding Crashers is a hilarious
movie that stars two men who, well -crash weddings. At a big wedding, they get invited to the house of the father of
the bride (Walken), where many odd, hilarious things happen. We highly recommend anyone who likes comedies. This
probably is in our top 10 of favorite comedies. Vaughn and
Wilson are a great match. Ben Wright, creator of Melzmar's Sunshine Reviews, said it is the only movie that ever actually
made him laugh out loud. If you haven't seen this movie already, go rent/buy it NOW.
Directing: A Script: A
Acting: A+ Overall Grade: A
Reviewers: Creators of Melzmar's
Sunshine Reviews
Hostel (2005) R 
Hostel, "the new Quentin Tarantino flick" from the mind of Eli Roth (Cabin Fever) is a bit overrated
by some, but good for a movie of its kind. You may be at Blockbuster soon and pass by it and your friend will be like, "Did
you hear about that movie? It's crappy and it's just about people who screw and get tortured." It is actually like that for
the first half-hour or so, but after the setup is established, it gets pretty interesting and an actual story developes and
begins to show through (but then the movie ends). Overall, it's a pretty decent film if you enjoyed Saw or Cabin
Fever. 7/10 B+ (almost an A-)
Reviewer: A.J.
King Kong (2005) PG-13 
'30s King Kong: damn good. '70s King Kong: a little better than "fine." 2005 King Kong:
just alright. I'm probably gonna catch a lot of shit from Peter Jackson fans, but this movie isn't all that excellent as it's
made out to be. The first hour could have been shorted to ten minutes and the pacing would have been hella better (using that
word really threatens my credibility, but oh well). But Naomi Watts and Jack Black (and Mr. Kong, who looks pretty realistic)
all did fantastic jobs with their performances. 8/10 A- (almost an A)
Reviewer: A.J.
Elizabethtown (2005) PG-13 
Shortly after finding out that his
new design of shoe has flopped, and cost the company he works for almost a billion dollars, Drew Baylor's (Orlando
Bloom) sister calls to tell him his dad has died. On his flight to Elizabethtown, Kentucky
to see his deceased father, he meets a flight attendant named Claire (Kirsten Dunst). Claire and Drew hit it off and
talk on the phone for hours all while he gets to know his father's family and friends. This is a different kind
of romantic comedy. I did not like the mom (Susan Sarandon) who was always acting weird, like getting stuck underneath
the hood of her car. The whole movie has a sort of weird, depressing feel, which I do not like. I would not highly
recommend this movie. It is a mediocre story with okay acting. This is a movie that tries to be taken seriously
at times, and then screws up some serious moments with some weird people having a wedding or a a paper mache bird catching
on fire and lighting the reception room on fire. Cameron Crowe has directed/written another movie that does not appeal
to me. Directing: C+ Script: F+
Acting: B- Overall
Grade: D+
Reviewer: Ben Wright
What About Bob (1991)
PG 
What can I say about What About Bob? A neurotic man (Bill Murray) has been seeing psychiatrists for
a while, until he comes across the successful Dr. Leo Marvin (Richard Dreyfuss). Dr. Marvin is on his last day at work
before a week long vacation, and Bob (Murray) comes to see him for psychiatric help. Dr. Marvin gives Bob a bit of advice and says he'll
see him in a month when he gets back from his family vacation. Later, Bob tracks Leo down and begins to stalk him at
his vacation home in New Hampshire. The odd thing is that everyone seems to be crazy and loves Bob except for
Leo. Throughout the rest of the movie Bob becomes less and less crazy and Dr. Marvin becomes crazier trying to even
murder Bob. This movie was awful for a few reasons. First of all, the movie acquired two brilliant actors that
don't do any acting in the movie. It seems as if Bill Murray wasn't trying to be himself during the movie, but the problem
with that is, I and most people I know love the way Bill Murray acts. So it is stupid to stray away from the person
that everybody loves you for. Richard Dreyfuss has done some amazing work in his life, but doing this makes him seem
as though he decided to take a break from doing good movies. I'd shoot myself if someone ever forced me to watch this
movie again. The only thing you need to know is to not see this movie. Script: F Directing: F
Acting: F Overall Rating: F.
Reviewer: Ben Wright
Westworld (1973) PG 
If you like killer robots and adult themed amusment parks, then this is the movie for you. It is the future where
there is an amusent park called Delos, where you can live out your dreams in three different worlds: Westworld, Medival World,
and Roman World. In these worlds, you can live out you wildest dreams, and everything is catered to you by human-robots,
androids, but what happens when the androids go out of control and start killing all the guests? It's a pretty good
movie for 1973. Killer robots + wonderous
amusent park + guests = a cool movie.
Grade: B+
Reviewer: Rex Blainesfield Biffington Harrison III
Ultraviolet
(2006) PG-13 
So I went to see the movie opening day. The first problem I saw was that there was a startling lack of blood.
Its like, when some douche gets punched or kicked or shot, I excpect massive amouints of carnage and bodily fluids. And I
am being really general with this whole bodily fluid term. It could be anything for all I care, just as long as it dosn't
accost me about my own personal Ph balance. In this movie I was sitting there thinking, "Oh fuckers, you assholes ripped off
the power rangers." In that sense, it seemed a bit hackenyed. I liked the power rangers allright? But I won't pay $7.50 to
go see some matinee bullshit power rangers knock off where I forgot to smuggle in my own candy. It hardly seemed fair. The
story was allright, but like, halfway through everyone in the theater was all... who gives a shit. You know its PG-13 and
she isn't going to show you the boobs. Big ole frowney face! Sure this movie has guns and ninjas and helicopters or something,
but not all combined into one. A helicopter ninja gun. Thats what this movie needs. The action sequences suck, they should
have hired some guy who knew what he was doing and then they could have blamed him for the shitty movie. Whatever right? Its
decent for what it is, a non-violent action movie. The plot really sucks though, reason enough to heckle your 8 dollar m&m's
at the screen. Oh well... 4/10 Reviewer: Brett
Wedding Crashers (2005) R .jpg)
When everyone first heard the idea of the movie Wedding Crashers, they thought, "Ha ha ha ha" until their laughter
was damn near uncontrollable. I thought, "'Vaughn - Wilson - Walken,' what could go wrong?" When it was finally released,
I went, "'Vaughn - Wilson - Walken,' what went wrong?"
I thought that as we the audience - or at least I - progressed the movie, it only got lazier and less funny. Scenes
like "the quail hunt" and Will Ferrell's cameo scene (I swear, whenever Will Ferrell gets a supporting or
minor role in a movie -- and not a starring role -- he almost ruins the entire film) were either unnecessary (like how the
gay brother and butler were unnecessary characters) or a little too long. Jeremy's (Vince Vaughn) rapidly
delivered rants, ramblings and speeches confuse you while listening to them, but then after you're done watching the scene,
you slow it down in your mind and still go, "What did I just hear?" and laugh.
Then the movie just gets a little long and tiring. They focus more on John (Owen Wilson), who is
just generally uninteresting with an even more boring love interest played by Rachel McAdams. Her
sister, Gloria (played by Isla Fisher), a highlight of the movie, is just a psycho nymphomaniac (like mother
[Jane Seymour], like daughter, hmm?), and the only reason I stuck around the whole two hours (This and The
40-Year-Old Virgin were both excruciatingly long for comedies, which should only be 100 minutes max.; not 120+). The
first hour and a half is perfect. A lot of rape, though. I give it 4/5 stars, or about 6.8/10. Reviewer: Samuel
Date Movie (2006) PG-13 
This is a hilarious comedy about a women trying to find her true
love, and getting married. It is from 2 of the creators of scary movie, and has remakes of many original love movies,
such as: Mr. & Mrs. Smith, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Meet the Falkers, Hitch, Rent, Napolean Dynamite, etc,.
It is all tied together to make 1 movie full of laughs. You're sure to have a luagh out loud time! Critics give
it 2 thumbs up!! Buy tickets to Date Movie today! Be sure to check out Movietickets.com for local listings!
Reviewer: Carrie Oakie
Grade: A+
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