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Dell
Dell sucks, and they suck hard. They make computers for the type of people who go downtown and pay the local
sporting team to write a newspaper about their shitty lives. If you are reading this whilst using a dell computer I strongly
advise you do cram your needle dick into your computer repeatedly, rendering both devices useless. For one, your shitty Dell
computer will be destroyed, but also you wont be able to have any children, and they won't be able to by any Dell computers.
They charge way too much for the amout of megahurts they cram into their computers. They could give you way more megahurts
and possibly even a mainfraim, if not for their petty greed and inane animal rights activisim. I will get you Dell corporation.
In the mean time grow a pair of balls and fabricate your on computer out of average household objects like post-it notes and
spoons. Thats what I did. 0/10 Reviewer: Brett
Whiskas Cat Food 
This is a great product. It makes the feline race believe in themselves again. Egyptians
worshipped cats like gods and were fed birds dipped in gold, but now they are forced to living in cramped apartments with
crazy old ladies and eat crap that comes from a can. What makes Whiskas better
than the rest, is their company is run by corporate shills, who are only in the cat food business to make money, and that
is what America
is all about. So if you love your country, then buy Whiskas. Even if you do not have a cat, you can still buy Whiskas, and then just throw it out. Just as long as the money gets to the Whiskas company executives.
What are you sitting here reading this for? Go buy Whiskas NOW! Note: I was not paid by the friendly, kind people at Whiskas Co. to write this review.
Grade: A+ Reviewer: Fruggington Fruggs
Degree Deoderant 
This shit is amazing. I got a free sample and I seriously want to abandon my shitty current deodorant in some dark alley
somewhere so I can use degree. It smells fantastic and makes my pits really fresh. Its like, high five to you and your company
Degree deodarant, you win on this aspect of making the finest deodorant known to man. Previously I used a brand called Speed
Stick, and let me tell you! When I started sweating it didn't start working, it just continued working. I was like "Oh my
god what the fuck rip off" my exact words. Then I got kicked out of Wal-Mart and am now on a quest to defeat the evil Wal-Dar,
a monster living deep inside the store. It was only legend untill I accidentally discovered it one day magically. I did recieve
some help from lucky charms, but I'm not really sure how far I got thanks to him. He eventually got baked and ran into one
of the dressing rooms mumbling something about the aliens who are the thiefs of brain matter. Bottom line, degree deodorant
rocks so fucking hard you must buy at least 49 sticks the next time your under arm feels wet. 10/10 Reviewer:
Brett
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